


Bound In Darkness

by bodysnatch3r



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-02-08
Packaged: 2018-01-11 15:12:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1174561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bodysnatch3r/pseuds/bodysnatch3r
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the first time you tell me<br/>you love me<br/>i do not recognise it as love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bound In Darkness

**i.**

the first time you tell me  
you love me  
i do not recognise it as love-  
instead, all i see is the feverish glint in your eye  
as you pin me to the dirt floor and you hiss through a smirk  
through clenched teeth  
"i beat you again"  
(we've been sparring all afternoon  
and your hands have just started to wear the dark shadows  
of what will one day turn into tattoos and you are _pretty  
_ and _savage  
_ and _mine_ , although we do not yet understand   
the meaning of that word).

**ii.**

the second time you tell me  
you love me  
we are fighting back to back  
and i am screaming as my brother stares at me  
and his eyes are desperate  
and his eyes are empty  
and his eyes are dead.  
the second time you tell me  
you love me  
is when my brother's lips vomit red  
and there is nothing i can do to stop it  
(you stop the screaming afterwards, holding me  
as pain crashes through me the same way  
waves crash through rock, through sand,  
through nighttime). 

**iii.**

the third time you tell me  
you love me   
i am standing in the middle of a dining room  
that is just a size too small, and i am yelling in tongues  
sometimes at night i think i have forgotten ("du bekar!" rolls against a palate  
in such a sweet way, my loveliest)  
like the other times, you do not say the word _love_  
but you whisper it differently.   
it is hidden in your eyes and i do not recognise it  
i do not take the time to dissect it, i cannot think about it  
i am too engrossed in a key that has been presented to me  
as a gift,  
as a burden,  
as guilt.  
(i wonder now how many times you've whispered it   
against nothingness, thought it was me  
emptied your mind of my absence).

**iv.**

the first time i tell you  
i love you  
i am lying in a pool of my own blood  
and it tastes sweet  
and rotten  
and terrifying.  
the first time i tell you  
i love you  
time stops, and death becomes  
a fraction of an instant less empty.  
(you cry but you hide it and i wish i had not been so blind, my love,  
i wish i had not been so bound in  _darkness_.)


End file.
